Are there sayings and sound bites in the office that just grind your gears? Here are 8 of the absolute worst and most hated! Don’t forget to submit that report by “end of play”. Play? This isn’t a game of rounders!
“We need to incentivise our workflow”
To give an incentive to someone or group of people; offering a reward for completing a task perhaps. Sometime that reward can be to not get fired. Other times the reward will be that you are so efficient; you could probably handle some more work.
2. Let’s touch base about that offline
“What is she doing?”
“Let’s touch base about that offline if you know what I mean”
Off the record, otherwise known as ‘so I can’t be held responsible’, (usually used to communicate true feelings that would otherwise put ones position in the company in jeopardy). Mostly used when conversing about office politics such as why Mandy is still head of the department even though her sales figures are below yours.
3. I’ve got you in my radar
“Shaun, have you had a chance to request that urgent photocopier part yet?”
“Bear with me; I’ve got you in my radar”
Please stop nagging me. I know that you want/need to get something done, but it doesn’t benefit me so it’s quite frankly at the bottom ofthe pile.
No, it’s not a problem, it’s a challenge. Like a 90’s TV gameshow, challenges can be overcome, sometimes challenges are even fun. Problems on the other hand are a whole lot more serious. Problems could get you fired. “We have a challenge regarding the efficiency of the fire escape mechanism”. See, that seems manageable.
5. Going forward
Much like forward planning, ‘going forward’ is a term used in a variety of situations.
“Now Gary is no longer with us, going forward we need to be careful of how we use social media in the workplace.”
6. Close of play
“Baines, I need these pay on results SEO reports by close of play”
Because working in finance is like playing a sport. Note, the only time that close of play will be mentioned is when you…A) Have a target to reach or B) have someone else’s work to do in an unbelievably short space of time.
7. From the get-go
“From the get-go boys and girls”
Continuing the theme that work is a sport, you now have to do whatever you were going to do, right from the start of when you were doing it. Logical. Although basically implies that you have no time to familiarise yourself with your task. Translation: Do it right, first time and by goodness do it fast.
“Actioning these items will improve productivity ten-fold!”
Actioning – Making to-do lists seems all too casual. Assigning something an action means that it is more likely to get done apparently. Assign whatever it is an action, which invariably will be a ‘to-do’.
Can you think of anymore office sound bites that really get on your nerves?