Why do people insist on scheduling important family functions the same day as the big game? While someone figures this out, we’ve got to plan to place our bets and stay on top of the stats in the meantime. If you’ve got a family function coming up that conflicts with your important sports betting, here are a few sure-fire ways to place your bets while maintaining your standing with family members. Heck, some of them have you coming out on top as the family hero!
Contents
- 1 Shut All Phone Sounds Off, Not Just the Ringer
- 2 Fake a Stomach Flu for Restroom Opportunities
- 3 Fake a Work Emergency With a Friend
- 4 Enlist Help From a Sympathetic Family Member
- 5 Volunteer for a “Helping” Assignment at the Function
- 6 Volunteer to Babysit for Everyone
- 7 Sit With an Elderly or Ill Family Member Who Can’t Attend
1 Shut All Phone Sounds Off, Not Just the Ringer
Image via Flickr by @boetter
The number one goal here is not to get caught. It’s not enough to shut off your ringer, and the vibrate function isn’t exactly stealth when the wife is sitting on your right and the mother in law is planted on your left. Take some time before the event to silence your keystrokes, alerts and all the other functions on your phone. This means you’ll have to keep checking the phone for updates, but face it, you would anyway. Each smartphone is different, but you can usually find the instructions for turning off all these sounds in your user’s manual. If not, most smartphone manufacturers post the instructions online. Techie forums are another great resource for learning how to shut off all the sounds.
2 Fake a Stomach Flu for Restroom Opportunities
Image via Flickr by sugree
The gambler who uses a stomach virus to get out of attending the wedding or baby dedication to stay home and place bets is deemed a hopeless looser. The one who goes in spite of their illness is an appreciated hero. Discreetly let everyone know you’re tummy isn’t doing too well before the event begins. Then your frequent sneaking to the bathroom to place bets and get updates meets a sympathetic, “Poor guy. We’re lucky he came in spite of how badly he’s feeling,” instead of the ordinary, “What a jerk!”
3 Fake a Work Emergency With a Friend
Image via Flickr by Jim Legans Jr
As with the tummy flu, the way you play this off determines how effective it’s going to be. Have a buddy phone you on the drive to the event faking an emergency at the office. (If he calls before you leave home, people have time to start getting suspicious.) Firmly tell the caller you can’t possibly miss this important family function—why the family is already in the car on the way!—but ask him to keep you informed of the situation. Then, during the event, you can be “texting” this “coworker” to help him with the “work problem” while you’re using the phone for updates and placing bets. Be sure to add appropriate apologies and muffled complaints about the intrusion the whole time, especially after the event is over.
4 Enlist Help From a Sympathetic Family Member
Image via Flickr by roger4336
Perhaps another family member is as interested in the outcome of the game as you are. You two can devise hand signals to exchange during the event and the one in the clear can keep updated and stay on top of bets. During receptions and other chances to mingle, this doubles the number of “bathroom” breaks you can take to check scores and outcomes. People might notice you going to the restroom four times, but won’t likely notice that between you and Bob you both went to the restroom four times. Just be sure you’re both clear about the hand signals before the event, or it might cost you.
5 Volunteer for a “Helping” Assignment at the Function
Image via Flickr by daryl_mitchell
Is there a job you could volunteer for that keeps you at the venue of the event, but away from prying eyes? Volunteer to set up chairs for the reception, bring in tables to the dining hall or meet with caterers while everyone else enjoys the family function. This keeps you nearby (nobody can say you didn’t attend) and makes you the hero of the day, but also frees you up to check scores and place bets without any notice at all.
6 Volunteer to Babysit for Everyone
Image via Flickr by bobroche
If your family is brimming with new prodigies, someone needs to tend to the children while everyone else enjoys the event. Would it be feasible to set up a makeshift daycare in another room to entertain the children during the wedding or other ceremony? Volunteer to sit with the kids and you can referee tiny nieces and nephews, who could care less how many times you check your smartphone for scores at Spin Palace . If you go this route, it’s a good idea to enlist the help of a couple of family teenagers for emergencies like diaper changes and spit ups.
7 Sit With an Elderly or Ill Family Member Who Can’t Attend
Image via Flickr by Ed Yourdon
Perhaps Aunt Claire or Grandpa isn’t physically able to attend the important family function. Instead of leaving the poor one alone or having another family member miss the blessed event, volunteer to sit with them while everyone else attends the function. Aunt Claire could probably care less how many times you glance at your smartphone, and Grandpa will never remember. Again, you’re the family hero and still get to do what you want to do.
Keep in mind, what family members want to know is that you really do care. Make sure you’ve shown your love and concern leading up to the event, and always follow-up afterward with the appropriate notes and phone calls. If you do this right, you won’t be caught in the awkward situation of having to explain your motives for sidestepping the function or failing to give it your undivided attention.